Saturday, May 23, 2020

5 Cringeworthy Office Moments I Cant Deal With

5 Cringeworthy Office Moments I Cant Deal With Being able to find  the funny side to  uncomfortable  moments is a true gift. When awkwardness starts to infiltrate the air between coworkers, it  is he or she who can make a joke of the situation and move on, who makes it out alive. But sometimes, thats easier said than done. Unfortunately,  offices are breeding grounds for  uncomfortable situations.  We  all make mistakes. We all fall victim to situational nightmares. We all make  thoughtless slips of the tongue. Sometimes  we  are forced to hold both hands above our head and surrender to embarrassment. Theres no other way out; no wise-crack that can alleviate the pressure. Without further ado,  here are  my  top 5 cringeworthy office moments that  I simply cant deal with: 1.  Walking down a long corridor towards someone Youre on your way out of the office, and begin the slow walk down the hallway to the elevator. At the same time,  someone you sort of know walks out of the lift at the other end. You make eye contact once. You both smile, maybe raise an eyebrow or two. A few seconds pass and youre still walking towards each other. You smile again, this time bigger, and maybe even shrug your shoulders. You mouth the word hi, then look away. Then you have to look back at them because youll trip over if you look sideways. Theyre uncomfortable, youre uncomfortable.  After what feels like hours, you finally pass them. You almost stop, lean on your knees and pant, because the marathon is finally over. One more fake smile and you may have had a  panic attack. 2. Standing in slow and silent elevators Youre waiting for the elevator to come. In that time you grow 20% more grey hairs on your head from stressing over how much more forced small talk you can really take. It finally arrives and you shuffle inside with everyone else. Turns out its anything but the saviour you envisaged. You could  hear a pin drop; the silence would make a  library  sound rowdy. The bell rings and you cant get out of there  quickly enough, pushing past the others. You breathe in the fresh air, youre free! Only you arent, because this is level 1 and you need to get to level 3. Back into the  cell  you go, with your tail between your legs. 3.  Spotting food on someones face You settle down for a meeting with David. He plans to tell you some exciting news about a new project youll be working on together. Within the 10 seconds you spot a piece of cake hanging on for dear life just next to his  left dimple. David should know he cant have his cake and eat it too. Now youve spotted it, you cant look away. Then David notices you staring, catches  his own reflection in the window and then leans into see what the brown dot is on his face. He wipes his cheek  and the crumbs fate is sealed. By the time it hits the table, youre both staring at it. The room is suddenly silent  and youre wondering why this somehow feels like your fault. What were you supposed to do, tell him?!? 4. Being accidentally spat on You dont know Mary  very well, but your bladders must know each other because theyre  always in sync  and you always bump  into each other in the bathroom. Anyway, youre midway through a cheap conversation about why the sink area is always wet, when all of a sudden, a piece of saliva flies out of  her mouth and  into your eye. You both know it happened, because her eyes clearly follow its flight path, and you go dangerously cross-eyed from trying to locate its whereabouts upon landing. Mary is mortified, so to  help her save face you act like nothing happened and keep talking. Then youre racking your brain trying to concoct a natural-looking excuse to wipe your eye, because now its starting to water  and you dont know if its your tears or her spit dribbling back out and and  its all just too gross to handle. You dont need this kind of stress in your life. 5. Being hung up on midway through a  call Youre on a phone call in an open plan office; all of your colleagues can hear you, but youre not too phased by it because everyone has to do it; there are no private booths.  Youre in the middle of your sales pitch to a client. Youve been talking non-stop for a few minutes now but its okay because youre really in the zone and making a really compelling case. Finally, you wrap things up and  finish your sentence so, how does that sound,  James? And then theres silence.  Its so loud that it echoes in your mind and fills your entire body with fear. James? you say his name again, but no answer. James, are you still there? Its in that moment that you know hes not there anymore. He hung up. While you failed miserably to maintain James interest, you  have  successfully caught the attention of everyone in your office, within a 5-metre radius from  your desk. You hang up the phone slowly in defeat,  and cant help but notice everyone staring at you. You  do a nervous laugh to disguise the tears youre crying on the inside.  Oh how you wish you were back in that  elevator, or walking down that long corridor, perhaps blinded in the bathroom with Mary or back sitting in that meeting with David. Anywhere but here.

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